suga with a move

yes, this is derrick rose in the flesh...

last night my dad and i went to see chi-town play the nets at the izod, or in other words, to see d-baby live and in person. and just for the record (for those who care) he is much cuter in person. we were able to be right by the chigago players as they were coming out to shoot around, but i was dumb and wasn't able to get a clear picture of derrick, probably because i couldn't see straight being that i was actually looking at him. but it was super cool, man. no doubt.

the matchup was right on, too. like, the game was super close. vinny carter was workin the hardest for the nets--he had like, 31 of their 87 points. that's crazy--he's real good to watch and my dad was lovin him. devin harris did mad work for the team, too. those were the two standouts. chris douglas-roberts was put in last night for me, so that's wassup because i love him. and i realize that i really hate the nets mascot.

the bulls pulled out some kind of stuff though, because i'm not even sure how they really won. shaggy is more of a mess in person. the dude flails and doesn't understand any of the fouls that he commits. i mean, he makes enough of them, i don't know why he doesn't know. i hold my breath every time he shoots, too because he kind of sucks. ben gordon is freakin buff, and i'm not sure why. and again, his number disappeared. that gets me every time. and he is some kind of shooter, man. the dude gets it and knows what to do. derrick rose was livin it up last night. he must have seen me, because he was working hard out there--something like 21 points and 13 assists. that's crazy. i love love love him. best thing, ever. and, larry hughes' ankles are way too skinny.

at the end, chigago was winning by like, 15, and all the nets fans left, so my dad and i went as close as we could to see der-bear walk out. i just wanted to run up and hug the fella, i really had to stop myself. but the game was good, the time was awesome, and derrick was prime time. i took like, too many pictures probably, and it's weird because basketball games don't seem like that big of a deal when you aren't watching it on television.

but one of my dreams came true last night, and next time i see him there's going to be more eye contact and the plan will go into effect. get ready, derrick.

The Bulls Play The Bulls

Maybe it's just because i grew up watching a generation of basketball players that aren't really around anymore, but i can't help but compare certain things about now to certain things from then. so basically, the Chicago Bulls team from this year pretty much looks like they're casting for a play about the Chicago Bulls from 1995/1996. i've collected some images to help prove my point:

DENNIS RODMAN & DREW GOODEN

Drew Gooden is so absolutely unique that he grew up some wild sea creature beard and got a few sick tats to display during the games. Sick tats are all the rage now, but 12 years ago, Dennis Rodman was one of the only in the league who was covered in such. Dennis didn't have anything more than the expected goatee, but obiously won most unique for his multicolored multifashioned hair work, and to quote a certain "Mista T" Drew Gooden "Whas up with ya ballld hedd? You betta get som'thin' else, or you be dead." Also, Gooden prides himself in rebounds and wears number 90, and Rodman was the rebound king of not only the Bulls, but the entire 90s decade, and wore number 91. not obviouls at all DREW.

SCOTTIE PIPPEN & BEN GORDON

Ben Gordon is the perfect candidate to play Scottie Pippen. similar heights, similar body types, similarly facially strange (Pippen probably more so, i suppose) not to mention the fact that Gordon is getting close to Pippen's 3 point record. they're just in the same positions, the team is obviously very different, but if you somehow somehow make them even, Gordon comes out as being Pippen. he just needs to untuck the jersey a little so the number 7 can show some more.

RON HARPER & LUOL DENG

Besides the fact that Deng wears Harper's old digit, he also shares Harper's so-so dependency. some games, Ron Harper would show some appropriate behavior; making shots, passing correctly, et cetera. But some games you would just get so pissed at him; why is this guy starting? why don't they trade him? why would he shoot that three? et cetera. Luol Deng is in the same spot. He's a bit taller, so instead of shooting questionable threes he just pops some small hooks or missed some put backs, that type of thing. Harper's a bit lighter, but i don't think the audience will notice.

TONI KUKOC & ANDRES NOCIONI

Nocioni is real annoying. i'll just start with that. if this was a comparison straight on looks, or if i was comparing players to cartoons from the 1960s, he'd be matched exactly with Shaggy from Scooby Doo. but in the Broadway Bulls play, Nocioni's playing Kukoc. two European shooters. the fact that Kukoc was better and was the 6th man says something, but in an overall sense, i'd MUCH rather have Kukoc on my team. Kukoc was clutch, Nocioni's a jabbing shag stag who doesn't know the difference between a foul and a high five.

LUC LONGLEY & AARON GRAY

Although Gray wears the classic number of Bill Wennington, he reminds me more of Mr. Luc Longley. is he a son of Longley? maybe not in a genetic sense, but it seems as though as he learned from the Longley School for Caucasian Center Positions. Gray is always pink as a pig, but Longley always played it Australian cool.

MICHAEL JORDAN & DERRICK ROSE
PHIL JACKSON & VINNY DEL NEGRO

i'm going to start by saying that Michael Jordan is nearly impossible to top, let alone be compared to, and i'm not saying that Derrick Rose is going to end up starring in a movie with Looney Tunes, being endoresed by underwear or having a his own brand of almost everything (sorry Em), but Michael Jordan is arguably the best player to ever touch a basketball, so it's sort of an unfair comparison. BUT, i've heard it said a few times that Derrick Rose is reminding people of rookie year Jordan. he's young, he's fast, he involves the rest of the team and makes playes happen which is part of what made Jordan a very special someone. no one knows what could happen in the rest of Derrick Rose's career, so, he could end up being better than ole MJ, but he'll also need a backing band of brothers that will at least do something that resembles helping him out.
Phil Jackson played for the Knicks in the 60s and 70s, Del Negro was a Spur in the 1990s. Vinny is having some trouble making decisions as a first year coach this season, and i think the solution is a mustache. look at Phil's in the picture, and Del Negro just looks like Michael Scott's sourpuss brother. i know mustache's are getting a bit played out, but for a coach, they never will.

chuck playing the bells.

we got a lot of updates this holiday season...
christmas: lakers and celtics. now, Lord knows i hate the lakers, but this game was honestly a mess. one of the worst i've seen thus far. if boston were to win, they'd have twenty straight wins, which is seriously crazy. now let me just say, the game was uncomfortably close the entire time until the referees seriously screwed up the game for boston--horrible calls all the time against the celts. paul was getting heated and rightfully so. my christmas ended with a freakin celtics loss TO KOBE BRYANT. that's a day gone wrong. things that i learned while watching: kobe would rather be the only player on "his" team. he is the worst. he needs to do everything himself--including copying moves from michael jordan. why don't you just try a little harder, fella? i don't think people notice. i hate you. second, PAU GASOL IS A CLOSE SECOND RIGHT NOW. WORST PERSON IN THE GAME. this little sardine guppy can be taken off the court and back into the ocean. like guy, close your mouth, please. he scored way too many points in this game for no reason at all. why the refs loved him i will never know. i cannot even stand to hear or look at this guy ever again in my life. Good Lord. the celts were just off the whole game, i don't know if it's having "Big Baby" back or what, but it was seriously a mess. good thing the game meant more the lakers than boston. because in the words of my cousin's seven year old friend, "i just wanted to take him (take your pick of the LA players, minus ariza) put him in a trash bag, tie it really tight. put him in the garbage, lock it and put in the dumpster." at least i got a couple eight year old fans to help me cheer on christmas.

after some time to collect myself after the loss: cavs and wizards. whyyy the freak was this as close of a game as it was, i will never know. i mean, cleveland won but not by much. i don't know what that's about, although it may have something to do with the knobby knee marshall character that is on the cavs. YOUR LEGS ARE TERRIBLE, PLAYA. he's got the floppy hair, the horrible shorts that land right above the knee. bad, bad, bad calves, and to top it off high socks. this dude leaps and like, high knees all over the court. soooooo bad. honestly, the corniest person in the league it's looking. and he's got a mancrush on lebron james. i mean i do think he's a fine fella as well but that's different. this dude needs to the be the first and last person to touch him after one of his many good decisions. a congratulatory smack on the butt every play possible. he will even go as far as leaping off the bench to run on the court to touch the man. that's od. however, lebron is freaking crazy and i'll leave it at that.

trailblazers and mavericks. this team of mavericks includes one of my least favorite players ever, jason kidd. hate hate hate this guy, too. as far as i'm concerned he can enter the burning building with kobe bryant. he's so dumb and scored his first real point in the third quarter. way to go, buddy. you have been playing far too long to only score about four points starting in the third quarter. but then the worst was freakin LordSithwell of planetZion. he is such a wizardry yoda thing. get out of this game, and then just out of life. all of a sudden this guy comes off the bench and goes wild. first off, why are you in the nba lookin' like that, and second why are you scoring all these points? brandon roy is the man, though, foreal.

disappointing outcomes in the christmas specials...and more people to add to the list of players i can't stand.

stylin' and profilin'

something went real horrible last night when i found out that the bulls-celtics game was not televised on a channel that came on my tv. W.T.F? how long have i been waiting for this? an entire basketball court filled with MY MEN, and i couldn't even watch it. i don't know how they did it without me, honestly...it must have been hard.
it's pretty obvious what the outcome of the game was, though. boston owned it--again. but apparently it was pretty close a couple times. that's wasup derrick! way to move. there was one extra smooth highlight i saw on espn or something and my playa TONY ALLEN had some sort of breakaway dunk like a madman...thanks for putting him in, doc. i told you. the other highlights were all the celts, and a few of them i got to see der-bear pop in the back...with a kind of a new mustache. i can dig all of it.

next game for the night, after parts of the nets (why the freak was chris douglas-roberts chillin on the bench? put that guy in!) was the lakers and the heat. dwayne wade: what an awesome person. really. this guy puts the moves on everybody despite his kinda small legs...triple teamed and all and the dude scores. not normal. two great things happened in this game, however. first...dwayde shoots from pretty much half court with no time left and swishes it. c'mon now. second and best: it's the last quarter and lakers are down two points. of course show-off kobe feels the need to tie it up himself. takes some kind of two point jump shot thinkin that it's nothing but net, and the thing pops out. YEAHHHHHHHHHHHOMIE! he turns around and gives the gayest smirk i've ever seen like, "my bad guys." haha! how about you say something along the lines of, "i didn't make it because i'm one of the worst people who thinks that i am incredible at life. i have a butterfly on my arm, i am such a man. i am really hot stuff and i think that i should be mvp even though paul pierce or lebron james deserves it more.." i'm just saying kobe, you might want to try it next time. how about, that was the best thing of my life.

here's a matchup coming up soon: the suns and the spurs.

and he is VERY smooth!

last night there were games coming out the woodwork. a few that i was interested in copping a view of, and a few that i wasn't necessarily interested in but watched anyway.
the Sixers were playing the Wizards, and i didn't see much of this game, but i don't really know how much there really was to see in it. the Wizzys have been playing just as bad as they need to be in order to be a match up for the Sixers. i remember that i used to like Elton Brand when he was on the Bulls some years back, but i think once he got into Philadelphia he's not the man he was. so the Sixers won, but none of this is meaningful to anyone.
the Nets were playing the Mavericks. a team of mavericks. and i like the Nets, i was never a number one nets fan, but they're a New Jersey team and i like that their team object is a Net. i forgot Vince Carter was on them, and i sort of forgot about him all together. and i've never heard of Devin Harris before, but he's now one of the best Nets out there. so they won and that was cool because since the Mavericks changed their logos away from the ones with the cowboy hats, they haven't been as good.
also, i've never seen LeBron James before, i've only seen highlight reels and such, and Cleveland was playing Denver last night so i was about ready to finally see that. i was ready for him to do a wild break away dunk or block a shot into the stands, which he didn't do, but he is really fast and gives some powerful chest passes. and between both of the teams, there were like $100,000 dollars worth of tattoos (someone had a holy boxer). Denver's Chris Andersen is getting close to being my least favorite player ever. he belongs in sum 41 or maybe good charlotte or maybe something worse. the guy uses gel and deserves the worst punishment of the leauge for such a choice. but Cleveland's jerseys were lookin' fine and "Big Z" Zydrunas Ilgauskas is holding it down for all of the tall Euros out there. Sabonis could have taken a note from this guy.


coming up next from me: Golden Selections From My Old Card Collection

eddie house socks

24-2.
Celtics, wassssup?! they know my number

some reporter said that atlanta was going to win last night. EXCUSE ME? c'mon now, you're playing the celts who are on an outrageous winning streak...you just can't mess. good thing the guy was type nasty and had no lips, who's going to listen to that?

this game was mad good though i will say. it wasn't one where boston was blowing the lead, you know? it was extra close the entire time like, until the last second. literally. i don't know what was going on with my fellas though. kevin was messin up big time and rondo and rayray had to do some major work to help out. freakin rajon rondo is the mannnnnn these days. that dude is something awesome...and a smooth dresser, too.
but anyway, the hawks stepped it up...i guess. i mean, they're pretty good if the game was tied. the whole thing came down to the last like, three seconds. it was tied and KEVIN. GARNETT. FOULED. awesome awesome work....a hawk dude is at the foul line. gets a chance to tie it up if he makes both of them and the playa misses one. he must have felt like a rere, but don't even try to beat the celts....they just too hot. [sidenote: i am not a fan of "big baby"]

second part of last night's double header: TIM DUNCAN vs CARLTON BANKS. what a matchup.
first off, tim duncan? ew. i hate this guy. he's so weird and like, stupid i can't even tell you. and the spurs? really? this is not 1997, people. the hornets though.......not really a fan, but in this situation i was hoping they'd win. and they did.
i was watching some of it and seriously, i swear that carlton is like, 5'4" out there and i just keep picturing him in a pink sweater and bowtie or something. but, i'll give chris paul credit, he has nice eyes and makes things happen so it's okay. plus james posey is on the team, so i'm glad they won, too. i mean, if they lost to the freakin spurs, life would be a problem.

i think the celtics will continue this awesome streak--and if they lose it to KOBE BRYANT i might end my life...p.s. doc, put in tony allen and leon powe more next game for me

all right now....friday night was one of the best match ups of the season--the blazers vs the celtics. yeahhhhhson. that's what i said. this one made me nervous. cause really, i want the celtics to win, you know, but there's definitely something i like about the trailblazers, too. i mean, greg oden is freakin my age and such a massive person. like, that's kind of cool. plus they got some other good players on there too that do some work like roy and lamarcus aldridge.
so, i knew the game was going to be close, so when i finally turned on the game boston was leading as it should be. but, oden was straight up chillin on the bench! i don't know what that's about, really.
anyway, there were some standouts that werent the big three. but yeah yeah, my rayray, paul, and gar-bar were livin life right as always. RAJON RONDO. this guy stepped it up big time out there. he was bustin through all kinds of people and making things happen. i knew this guy was good, but he was like, really awesome on friday. right on, rondo. EDDIE HOUSE. high socks and a sweatband is what makes this guy type smooth. and the fact that he can shoot and pass like a mofo ups him to pimpstatus. he did mad work, son.
the trailblazers normally work a little harder, i think. i mean, they're a good team, but i expected a little more from them to be honest. but, the game was fun to watch and extra impressive.

i also discovered that i dig lebron james and his commercials as well as greg oden shopping for groceries.

SUGAR BEAR

first off, i love derrick rose.

so i was mad excited for the sixers-bulls game tonight because i haven't seen my man play in a while and, he was hangin in my city of all places! i should have been there sneakin him sweedish fish before the game.

but i mean, the bulls are not the best team by any means. they got some weird peeps and some rather unattractive guys and screw ups fillin up the bench. i'll start with the stupid ones and get that out of the way...shaggy: get outta here with that greasy cut. you flop around the court like a freakin cornball. you too much, and i don't like you. noah: honestly man, you are mad corny. no lie, dude. you are definitely tryin to act like some kind of awesome basketball player, but that hair is not helping you at all, and your legs are so stupid. you gallop back after makin a shot thinking that you are the best and it's all false. you just look dumb. now, i don't know who the other white guy was out there tonight, but he was chunky and doofy. like, c'mon now michael scott wannabe put in derrick and get these fellas out.

all right, so tonight a couple people did some work. gordon was pullin his end makin some shots and some moves. i mean, he kinda looks a bit too much like kobe bryant sometimes, but tonight he was makin me proud. he pulled a couple threes out to help the bulls catch up. like, i dont know what the ref's situation was, but i think the sixers got way too many foul shots, but whatever. time for my main man D-BABY: love him. the dude is like, some kind of awesome i don't even know where to start, and if i do i could go on forever. he seriously knows how to make things happen...one being how to stop a breakaway like a pro. a sixers guy was on his way to dunk after gettin a rebound, and freakin derrick rose runs up, fast as crap, and blocks this guys shot straight up. cmon now, thats some serious pimpstatus for a twenty year old. watch it on espn tomorrow, all riiiight? he knows wassup. man, i need to know him.

the bulls just hit the sixers with a freeze pop! thank you, derrick rose.

A bloated Don Nelson has his worst day ever

Tonight i found myself watching three quarters of the New York Knicks and Golden State Warriors match up, and that was some kind of sloppy happening. it was strangely one of the crudest games i've ever seen, as well as one of the highest scoring ones. the game ended with the Knickerbockers in the lead: 138-125, and i'm highly unsure as to how exactly that happened. the Warriors just kept shooting three pointers and missing by a lot and then the Knicks would take it down and usually score, because it was usually a dunk. and speaking of, a Mr. David Lee is responsible for making the cheeziest dunk ever: check out this retard
weird night.

Neo'neal?

Greg Oden is the new "it girl" of the 2008/2009 NBA season. due to his multiple injuries coming off of his number one draft pick, the man hasn't played much at all. so since this is my first time since 1999 watching basketball games, it's kind of hard to not make note of the big fella. plus, Portland is one of my favorite teams this year, they're looking so good and i'll go swami and say they'll make it somewhere deep in the playoffs. anyway, i think Greg Oden is a decent character, and i want to like him and i do, but there's one thing about him that's rubbing me a strange way, and i think it's that he's getting really close to being SHAQ.
i mean, Shaq was a big deal when he came into the league and was "good" for a while, but then i think most people (at least people of decent intelligence) noticed that all he does is nothing but stand by the rim and barely jump to dunk. he did this so much that the logo to his shoes and apparel was him doing his classic "sitting" dunk style. the guy can't shoot foul shots if his icy-hot endorsement depended on it and is far too 90s for the new millenium.
Greg Oden hasn't proved me one way or another yet, but i hope he doesn't pinhole himself as new-age Shaq. i think he's got some more to offer than ole Kazaam. but he's got to start doing some more than just dunking if he's going to do that.

phone home

so tonight i checked out some of the celtics-sixers game. philly was pullin a pretty large loss (kinda like chicago vs portland a few weeks ago, but we don't really talk about that). my celtics playas were purely killin it...mostly cause my man rayray allen was shootin like a madman and makin killa threes...wassup RAY?! paul pierce was sportin a fresh haircut and being one of the coolest players ever like always. i freakin love that dude, he's forever laughin on the bench. and last part of the "three" is k. gar. he is really tall and really dark...i would not even want to mess with a guy like that and the sixers really didn't. gar-bar had a few massive dunks in a row cause he's the man. i mean, at the end he was wearin a gaterade towel around his head. not many people can look cool doing that. but, the celtics are more than these three, cause i got a new fella number 42, TONY ALLEN. the guy is mad cool and pulled some kind of slammer during that game. watch out man, cause that number is 24 backwards, he knows what's happenin. even whitey made some shots. the game ended with a fairly large win for boston, and philly was feelin like a piece of crap. but it's all good cause celtics have the coolest team.

unfortunately, i also watched some of the lakers and mavericks. im not a fan of jason kidd..and certainly not kobe bryant. the dude is TYPE NAST. he is not the best player in the nba and he is such a sack. i really hate him. like, i wouldn't mind if he just peaced out of life, honestly. and i just realized tonight that he wears 24 and that peeved me off for life. he should get a number change. awesome man, you beat the freakin mavericks, no one really cares.